Amps

Just So You Know, Satan is Coming in 2013

June 24, 2012 | By | Add a Comment
Just So You Know, Satan is Coming in 2013

Yes. I’m a girl. And I like metal. Get over it. Fucking pervs. If you’re a fan of metal and you lurk on the interwebs, you will eventually stumble across a guy named Ola Englund. Nobody does metal like a Swede and this guy is about as Swedish as it gets. With his site Guitar Noob […]

Man Up! Get KRANKED with KRANK!

June 11, 2011 | By | Add a Comment
Man Up! Get KRANKED with KRANK!

Man up bitches ..    We know there are tons of amp makers on the market. Sure, you could go out and score a ‘blackface’ amp like your granddaddy used to have. This amp has almost nothing to offer you if you’re playing any music that came out after 1970. You need a no-bull amp that can […]

Axes

How Much For the Name? Fender vs. G&L

April 29, 2012 | By | 1 Comment
How Much For the Name? Fender vs. G&L

When someone says, “I won’t play anything but a USA Fender Strat,” I usually hear, “I am a worthless tool that only plays what the dick-drips on the forums tell me to play.” Let it be known: USA Fender Strats are overpriced pieces of shit that aren’t worth your time. I struggled with that statement. […]

Girl Play: Riffing on Daisy Rock Guitars

March 12, 2012 | By | Add a Comment
Girl Play: Riffing on Daisy Rock Guitars

Daisy Rock : Girl Guitar or ‘Little’ Girl’s Guitar?

5 Guitar Manufacturers that Aren’t Gibson or Fender

August 3, 2011 | By | Add a Comment
5 Guitar Manufacturers that Aren’t Gibson or Fender

The next person that approaches me and tells me how he’ll never play anything but a Gibson is going to force me to binge-drink myself into oblivion. And, if you’re a regular reader of my articles, you know how messy that can get. The same goes for whoever says the same about Fender. Are you trying to tell me that in the eighty or so years since the advent of the electric guitar that no one but these two companies have gotten it right? I’m calling shenanigans on that one. There’s plenty of other axes out there for anyone willing to pull their heads out of the sand long enough to take a look.

Stompboxes & Effects

The Return of the Mighty Pedalboard!

March 24, 2012 | By | Add a Comment
The Return of the Mighty Pedalboard!

As I preparing to put in another day of teaching little monkeys how to play a G chord, I was confronted by one of my students who thought he could bribe my into teaching him one of his favorite songs. After he threw me an extra fin for my trouble, I was swayed to listen […]

How Swollen is Your Pickle?

March 16, 2012 | By | 1 Comment
How Swollen is Your Pickle?

While perusing the local Guitar shop, I was confronted with a sound that could only be described as a punch to the face. When I say ‘punch to the face’ I am, of course, speaking metaphorically. In fact this face punching fist was the sound of happiness that my ears devoured eagerly. “What the fuck […]

Editorials

All Signs Point to Tax !

September 5, 2012 | By | Add a Comment
All Signs Point to Tax !

Out of last year’s top five sellers of music gear, three of them deal strictly online. The other two are Guitar Center and Sam Ash. Of course, since GC and its web counterpart, Musician’s Friend, are a pair of testicles that share the same sack that is Bain Capital, and Sam Ash has their own […]

Greatest Moments in Ass-Kickery

July 10, 2012 | By | Add a Comment
Greatest Moments in Ass-Kickery

In my opinion, there are two places in the world that you never want to end up. 1: Indiana during a coke binge 2: Czech prison While the first is like being shoved into the asshole of the planet, the second is just plain fucked. Randy Blythe, lead singer of Lamb of God, recently found […]

In Your Own Little Guitar-World

May 25, 2012 | By | Add a Comment
In Your Own Little Guitar-World

I heard through the grapevine that the former monolith, Guitar World, had been sold/acquired/completely-fucking-taken-over by Newbay Media. Most of us would then ask the relevant, but barely coherent, question: “New-who what’s it?” To which the interwebs would proudly proclaim: “You dumb bastard. They’re a media conglomerate with over 40 Publications, 50 Websites, 3o Daily and […]

Other Recent Posts

Steez’s 10 Facts of Life:

Steez’s 10 Facts of Life:

May 4, 2012 | By | Add a Comment

Try head banging with less than six inches growing out of your scalp. You know what that feeling is? It’s embarrassment.

Porcelain Philosophy 101: What happened to Daddy’s Old Guitar Mags?

Porcelain Philosophy 101: What happened to Daddy’s Old Guitar Mags?

August 3, 2011 | By | Add a Comment

After comparing an article in an issue from 1985 showing how to incorporate chromatic climbs into minor progressions to an issue from 2006 on how to play a power chord in dropped ‘D’ tuning, I realized that these mags hadn’t simply been casualties in the war between paper and electronic devices, but they had slowly degraded themselves into paparazzi publications and soft-porn ads with well-endowed vixens strategically holding products with promises of sexual adventures that can only be found with the purchase of a fifty-nine dollar guitar tuner.

Don’t Drink and Buy: Watching Out for ‘House Brands’

Don’t Drink and Buy: Watching Out for ‘House Brands’

June 10, 2011 | By | Add a Comment

Through bloodshot eyes, I glared at the Carlo Robelli Acoustic/Electric with the “Flame Coffee Burst” that had somehow made its way into my basement apartment to drag its dirty ass over my carpets like a stray dog. What happened?